I fear change... I guess

So, I've gone up and down within 10 pounds for the last year plus and really have made little to no progress. My blood pressure is high and i am really starting to feel the effects of being overweight! I need to change, but somehow my discipline or will-power is sooo poor. I know it isn't supposed to be easy, but I get so angry at myself for choosing the easy way or the lazy way through the day! So I weighed myself on Monday and I was back to 280 again so i watched what I ate for the most part this week and went to the gym twice. I feel good about this week and I'm sore and all that good stuff, but I have lost all confidence in myself to keep this up. I really don't know what to do to really make the lasting change that I need. All I know is to try to work out every day and count calories every day and drink lots of water etc. So, I guess I just have to start over again and hope it takes this time. I wish I could figure out what is stopping me from making the changes I need... maybe it would be good to go and talk to a counselor or something to find out what I can do mentally! I HAVE to be healthier!!! I'll check back in on Monday...